I’m no fan of new years resolutions (too much pressure. too much ….Rrrraaaaahhhhh! energy!)
But I AM a fan of marking and honoring transitions. Look, I know the Gregorian calendar is a relatively modern invention and the transitioning from one year to the next is essentially an artificial process BUT I still think it’s valuable.
It’s important to have pause points – in our lives and our businesses. Time to reflect and take a step back. Time to take a longer-term view of what’s worked and needs celebrating, what hasn’t worked, what you’re ready to release and what you’re ready to embrace for the new season.
In this episode, I walk you through a really simple process to do this. It will take you no longer than 10 minutes yet will open up new levels of awareness and focus for you.
Plus I share some of my intentions for 2017 and give you some information about what’s coming your way in the new year.
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How to stay sane on the rollercoaster of business in a fucked up world
Are you scared?
Every day seems to bring a new psychic weight to carry. North Korea. Jerusalem. Brexit. Endless poverty and disgust at billionaires giving tax breaks to fellow billionaires at the expense of the disabled, the young, the ‘everyday folks’. Me Too. Endless, endless streams of sexual harassers being brought out into the open. An accused paedophile within a whisper of becoming a US senator. A racist, unhinged narcissist hell-bent on stirring up trouble just so he can watch it all burn.
Fears on a grand scale that hit so very close to home.
Our loved ones getting sick.
Wondering if anyone will hire us – or if enough people will hire us. Or if we’ll be able to pay the bills or our partner will be laid off from work.
Fear that we’re not cut out for this entrepreneurial life.
Fear that it’s just too hard and we’re not equipped to handle it.
Fears that can derail a day. Or a week. Or a whole fucking year.
Fears that build like a drip, drip, drip of a broken tap into a bucket that eventually overflows.
Fears that rise up like cobras in our chests or descend like dementors.
Fears that wrap themselves around us like the lightest of perfume.
Fear is part of being a human with a brain and a heart and a soul.
Fear is natural. Normal. It is necessary. It is a great teacher.
And it’s terrible and draining and can rob you of your optimism if you let it.
Everyone has fear.
Holly Worton (who I do my monthly podcast episode with) recently confessed that when she first started coaching, she’d pray that clients wouldn’t show up for their calls because she was so scared of what to do if they did.
and me… I said
Another friend told me they had a snot filled, sobbing meltdown because she’d not signed a client in weeks and was wondering when it was going to turn around.
and me… I said (FYI snot filled, sobbing meltdowns are something of a speciality of mine).
A client told me how lonely she felt – her partner didn’t understand the challenges she faced and while she was supportive, she couldn’t help. She couldn’t really ‘get’ it.
and me… I said (if you’re not running your own business it’s really really hard to understand the pressure you can sometimes feel upon you that it’s all down you goddammit!)
When a client confesses to me that she’s scared to be seen and share what’s in her heart via her business for fear of being judged and criticized I tell her I have that too. So many of us do.
How to stay sane on the rollercoaster of business in a fucked up world
Here’s the truth:
When you’re running your own business it is all down to you. The successes and the failures.
You will be judged and found wanting by some once you become visible. But you’ll be judged and found wanting even if you’re not (it’s one of the shittier parts of being a human woman).
No one who hasn’t wrestled with a broken website or uncooperative MailChimp automation will understand your pain.
You will likely cry. Regularly.
And here’s what’s also true:
When you’re running your own business you get to shape it in whatever way suits you and fills your soul up. No one gets to tell you what to do. It’s all yours – and that can be glorious.
You don’t have to do it alone (in fact, please don’t)
Showing up and being seen- truly as yourself and with your eyes ablaze with passion and purpose will attract the very best people (clients, peers, superfans who just want to bask in your aura) and you get to change the world for the better just a little bit.
Crying cleanses the soul, releases tension and is an act of healing in itself.
Your fear is not a sign that you’re misaligned or ‘too sensitive’ or not cut out for this work.
Your fear is part of being a human.
How to stay sane on the rollercoaster of business in a fucked up world?
You were built for this. You can handle this. You got this.
Today, Holly Worton and I talk how to have good boundaries for your business. This is such an important topic, and yet I don’t see people talking about it often enough. This is kind of an extended episode, much longer than our usual 30 minutes. We decided that we had a lot to say, and there’s a lot that needs to be considered when it comes to boundaries.
Our last co-hosted episode was on resilience, and this one really complements that one: when your boundaries are clear and strong, then it makes it so much easier to be resilient in business.
Boundaries are not something that came easily to me at first – like many women I’m a conditioned eager to please, over giver so saying ‘no’ or holding firm on things like contracts and agreements felt very unfamiliar and uncomfortable to me. I’m still a work in progress but I’m getting better. It’s something I realised I need to continuously be working on because as my business becomes busier, the energy and time I have become more precious commodities. If I let client sessions run over, do extra sessions, say yes to too many ‘can I just pick your brain?’ conversations, or take on other people’s trauma, anxiety or ‘stuff’, I burn out pretty quickly.
So while I’m a work in progress, I think boundaries are a feminist issue that needs talking about way more – both in and outside of our businesses. Having and sticking to good boundaries for your business rubs right up against our feminine conditioning. We’re conditioned to be compliant and say ‘yes’ (or at least not say no and complain about it. We’re conditioned to not make a fuss and to put the needs of others first. And that needs to change because we can’t be great role models, own successful businesses and be fully functioning, happy and whole humans without prioritising our own needs. It’s not selfish – but it sure feels that way (and the only greater insult to throw at a woman than ‘selfish’ is ‘fat’ – so this is core stuff right here).
Looking after others can feel great. One of the greatest pleasures in life is caring for other humans – it’s why many of us go into this work of coaching and healing. But for many many MANY of us (myself included), the balance has been on putting the needs of others ABOVE our own. And that’s messed up and is keeping us exhausted and unhappy.
So having and sticking to good boundaries for your business is simply about redressing that balance: It’s about putting your own needs on a more even footing. It’s about protecting your energy and precious life force. It’s about preventing burn out and allowing you to protect your core business asset – you.
What You’ll Learn
- What are boundaries, and why do we need them?
- The role courage plays when it comes to setting and upholding boundaries
- What types of boundaries you need in terms of managing time and energy
- How to set boundaries to balance work time and personal time
- How to set boundaries for cancellations, refunds, late arrivals, and no shows
- How to get clear on what you will and won’t do in your business
- How to get clear on who you’ll work with and who you won’t
- How to get clear on what you’re willing to debate and what you won’t
- How to set boundaries around pricing (including pay what you want pricing)
- What to give for free and what to charge for
- How to deal with boundary pushers (you know what we mean!)
- The mindset stuff that gets in the way of setting and upholding clear boundaries